25 May 2005

Yes, Lord Sidious

Palpatine: Ah, there you are, Master Yoda.
Yoda: Morning, it is good, Chancellor.
Palpatine: Now then, Yoda, what's this I hear about young Skywalker?
Yoda: What is it you hear, Chancellor?
Palpatine: That's what I'm asking, Master Yoda. What do you make of it?
Yoda: With respect, Chancellor, what asking are you, I, Jedi Master though I be, uncertain am.
Palpatine: What I'm asking, Yoda, is, is whether you sense a disturbance in the Force this morning.
Yoda: Many are the disturbances in the Force, Chancellor, and many the nondisturbances are. Whether a disturbance is a disturbing disturbance, or whether, balance on, a disturbance, though disturbing, found to be a nondisturbance is, for the Jedi to decide must be.
Palpatine: Thank you, Yoda, I think I'm perfectly capable of deciding whether the Force is disturbed on any given morning, don't you?
Yoda: Of course, Chancellor. That's why you're the Chancellor, and we are the Jedi.
Palpatine: So I am capable of that, we're agreed?
Yoda: We're agreed that you think you are, Chancellor.
Obi-Wan: Anything less would be disturbing.
Palpatine: Thank you, Obi-Wan.
Yoda: You mentioned young Skywalker, Chancellor?
Palpatine: Yes. I want him to serve on the Jedi Council. Be my liason, my eyes-and-ears, you understand. Just to keep me up-to-date.
Yoda: Ah.
Palpatine: Ah?
Yoda: Ah yes, Chancellor, an excellent idea you have. Skywalker on the Council must be. When mature his powers are. When the time ripe is.
Palpatine: No, Master Yoda, I mean today. As of now.
Yoda: In what sense do you mean "now," Chancellor? The Jedi all things, all times must care for. For us, the future, the past, all one are.
Obi-Wan: I don't think the Chancellor means that Skywalker should serve on the Council in the past, do you, Chancellor?
Yoda: Using the word "past" to refer to your own place on the Council are you, Obi-Wan?
Obi-Wan: No, Master Yoda, I only mean that when the Chancellor uses the word "today," he is making a temporal reference, and a temporal reference really takes its meaning with respect to the moment of utterance, so when he says he now wishes Skywalker to serve on the Council, then "today" must refer to today's today, not to a hypothetical today which we, as Jedi, might perceive in the past, nor to a potential today which, though not operative today, might be tomorrow's today, or the day after tomorrow's, bearing in mind that tomorrow must come after today.
Palpatine: Thank you, Obi-Wan, that is exactly what I mean. I want Skywalker to serve on the Council as a Jedi Master. Starting today. This instant, in fact.
Yoda: Really, Chancellor, so certain are you? Untried young Skywalker is. Untested. Unready is he.
Palpatine: Untested? Didn't he just save me from that kidnapping attempt? I didn't see you piloting a flaming starship down to Coruscant, Master Yoda. You were probably testing out this office, just waiting for the Chancellor to go down in flames, is that it?
Yoda: I, Chancellor? Humble Jedi Master am I, not Chancellor. Not wise in the ways of the Senate am I. No desire has the Jedi Council to take over the Republic.

Etc. . . . . . Gotta admit, the resemblance disturbing is.


Anonymous said...


You should see the movie it's great. It looks exactly like Sidious. Your performance is still with me.

Anonymous said...

You got that right! Bub

who the hell is palpatine?

Anonymous said...

Ah yes indeed Minister. The resemblance is uncanny. But who is Bernard?

Jack Mitchell said...

Ah, it wasn't very clear I'm afraid. Tentative cast: Palpatine = Hacker, Yoda = Humphrey, Obi-Wan = Bernard . . .

Anonymous said...

Reminds us of how much we miss "Yes, Prime Minister".

Loved it.